New Jersey Matchmakers | Compatibility Questions to Know

By South Jersey Matchmakers
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Today, our skilled New Jersey matchmakers will review some very important questions you need to ask your boyfriend (and yourself) in order to determine whether or not the two of you are going in the same direction. If the two of you have a lot in common, then chances are you’ll have a successful relationship.

It is important to ask him what his lifelong term goals are because ultimately, if both of your goals conflict with each other, you will have to put an end to the relationship. However, before you ask the following questions, think about your answers to compare them with his.

Remember, goals and opinions rarely ever change, so it is up to you to decide what is worth compromising on and what isn’t.

Try not to come off as aggressive when you ask him these questions. Your tone of voice can definitely affect the way the conversation goes. Also, try to be patient if he tells you he needs some time to think about the answers. Don’t throw away a good relationship simply because someone doesn’t have their entire life figured out.

The good news for you is that the following questions will help you figure out if your relationship stands a chance or if it’s time to cut your losses and go your separate ways. But if his answers, for the most part, match yours, then you will begin to realize how much the two of you have in common, which will strengthen your relationship. Our experienced New Jersey matchmakers have prepared some serious questions to ask your boyfriend to determine the compatibility in your relationship.

 

1. Does he want children?

This is one of the most obvious and important questions to ask. Perhaps the two of you aren’t sure, and that is okay, so don’t force yourselves to try to figure it out right away. However, if one of you is adamant to the concept and the other one is set on having a family, it is important to discuss it if you’re considering a long term relationship.

Here is the next part. How many children do both of you want to have? If one wants a big family and the other only wants one child, this is something you need to address. It’s definitely a challenging debate that needs to take place. Remember that just because two people get along doesn’t mean their long term goals will align. Sometimes, two people are better off just as good friends.

2. What type of lifestyle do they lead?

Lifestyles are a simple term, but it mostly refers to one thing, money. If he wants to pursue a luxurious type of lifestyle while you, on the other hand, would like to live in a cabana in Puerto Rico, then we have a problem here. Alternatively, if your dream home is a penthouse in New York City while he enjoys traveling the world from a backpack, you will also have some major problems.

Often times, when people fall for each other, it takes time to determine if their lifestyles align with each other. This is something very important because you will be spending the rest of your life with this person.
Are you a minimalist partner when it comes to material things? This can be determined by the way you dress. If you are the type of person who only wears Gucci loafers, you might not be a match with your partner who wears flip-flops from Payless.

If you have different types of lifestyles, things aren’t going to work out, and this is especially true when it comes to spending. Money issues are one of the biggest reasons relationships fail. Are you both on the same page when it comes to spending? Our New Jersey matchmakers recommend you discuss your lifestyles and spending habits early on before you spend too much time with this person.

3. What about political beliefs?

This is a sticky question that must be asked. Down the road, if you plan to combine your finances and would like to contribute to a candidate, you’re going to have to know which side you’re both on.

Some people are nonchalant when it comes to politics, but if you plan on being involved in a political party and dedicate your life to it, you’ll need to be with someone whose goals are aligned with yours.

If you are someone who likes to have debates about current events and go voting to each election, it might be challenging to have a relationship with someone who has no clue what the primaries are.

4. How do they spend their free time?

This is a simple question to ask, but it’s also important. Let’s say he loves spending his free time playing golf every day, or maybe she and her friends go out for happy hour from 5-7 all the time, do you like that? No matter how much you think you can, you can’t change a partner in a relationship.

Maybe you like to spend your free time exercising in your home gym or hanging out with the girls watching movies and drinking wine, is your partner okay with that? You need to figure out if what you enjoy doing in your free time aligns with each other. If both of you enjoy spending a lot of time on your own or with friends, great.

5. Is he marriage material?

Maybe he is marriage-minded and you’re not. You wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings down the road by breaking the news to him when he proposes, right? It is important to decide whether both of you are marriage-minded, because chances are you don’t want to wait a couple of years from now to find out one of you is not. If both of you have separate views on marriage, our New Jersey matchmakers know that is a huge red flag.

This is not to say everyone needs to get married to be happy, but you both need to want the same thing for the future. If you are both okay with living together and never getting married, that’s perfectly fine. The thing is not to be in a relationship with someone who never wants to get married if you’re dead set on wedding bells and a family. Approach this question with an open-mind and try to see your partner’s point of view.

If you discover you’re not compatible with one another for the future and would like to find a partner who shares the same lifestyle and goals as you, we urge you to write to our New Jersey matchmakers today.

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