New Jersey Matchmaker | Handling Relationship Uncertainties

By South Jersey Matchmakers
Home / Dating Advice / New Jersey Matchmaker | Handling Relationship Uncertainties

He wants to hang out with you but won’t commit to something serious. You’ve been dating for a while now but he won’t take the plunge. Should you let him go or keep on trying? Find out today with our New Jersey matchmakers here at South Jersey Matchmakers.

If you feel like he’s leading you on, or even using you, then your suspicions might be true. However, he might be waiting for you to change or testing to ensure you don’t give up so quickly. The majority of men don’t know how to share their intentions or feelings, which makes it hard for women in the dating world. But our professional New Jersey matchmakers don’t want you to lose a good relationship, so let’s take a closer look at how you can approach this touchy topic.

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Signs You’re Being Used

If he treats you like you’re in a relationship by always texting you and hanging out, then you need to read this. If he doesn’t want to put a title to the relationship, then there is something going on. If you don’t know whether the two of you are exclusive, there is a health risk involved, and obviously a lack of respect.

Some men claim to be nice, and even think they are, but their egos love attention from many women and they won’t commit because of it. The truth is, if he can’t commit to you and give you the respect you deserve, you shouldn’t be wasting your time with him.

Men get away with this behavior too often because women don’t know the signs to call it quits. If he calls you pet names that are a little demeaning, then that’s because he sees you as an object. Examples of this may include: baby girl, sexy little thing, or sexy mama. Pay attention if he replaces your name with something that sounds like an object.

If he keeps saying things like “Let’s take it one day at a time” or “Let’s enjoy what we have right now,” then he might be afraid of commitment. A lot of times, these men won’t change, even though they claim they will.
You can rest assured you’re being used if he only shows up at your house at nighttime and you never go on real dates. And the same things goes if he only replies to texts or calls when it’s convenient for him. If you find yourself wondering where he’s at most of the time, then our New Jersey matchmakers know there’s a good chance he is using you and you should let him go.

Maybe He Doesn’t Believe in Getting Married

It is completely okay to ask him what his views on marriage are. There are many people out there who don’t believe in the concept of marriage, but our New Jersey matchmakers know it is important to discuss this early on. If he is unwilling to talk to you about it, then that is disrespectful. If he wants to be with you but doesn’t want to get married, it doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship must come to an end. He might not be into the whole marriage thing, but he could still be a great partner. You need to know his views on commitment, marriage, and family, especially if that’s what you plan in your future.

Maybe He Doesn’t Care about Monogamy

There are many men in the dating world who believe they can do whatever they want, whenever they want. These players often attract women because of their charm and personality, but our New Jersey matchmakers don’t want you to fall prey to these men. If you want an exclusive relationship, you need to stay far away from this type of man and only date men who are relationship-minded and ready to settle down.

He Doesn’t Want to Talk

Before you kick a man to the curb, you should give him a chance to talk. Maybe there is something that has him hesitant to commit to you. There could be a legitimate reason why he hasn’t brought up the idea of being exclusive, so go ahead and try to bring it up yourself. Now, if he isn’t willing to talk to you about it, and becomes closed off, then you need to move on.

Maybe It’s You

Sometimes, men won’t commit because there is something about a woman’s behavior that puts them off. This is why it’s very important you ask him if there is something you’re doing that is preventing him from committing to you. Sometimes, it’s hard to see our behaviors from an outside view unless it is brought to our attention.
You don’t want to throw away a good man if there is something you can do to fix the issue. Be willing to listen to constructive criticism and legitimate concerns. Note: this will require you to be humble, not defensive.

Is He Waiting for Something Else

Our New Jersey matchmakers know that many men don’t feel like they can fully commit to a woman until they reach a certain point in their life. Whether he wants to reach a certain point in his career or save a lot of money up, maybe the idea of being settled down with a woman isn’t right for him right now. This is why we suggest talking to him about it so you can figure out if he’s waiting for something or if you should stop wasting your time.

Couple’s Therapy Could Work

There is nothing wrong with seeking professional therapy because it can help save your relationship. If he is down to try, you can go together or separately. If he has intimacy issues, this can definitely help him. And you don’t want to throw away a good man if he’s willing to seek professional help to work things out.

Approach the Subject in a Nice Way

Remember that you need to figure out whether or not he wants to be with you, so approach the subject in a kind and gentle way. This is not a conversation you want to have via text message; it needs to be done face to face. If he can’t man up and have an adult conversation with you, then he is immature and doesn’t deserve you. It doesn’t matter if he is an attractive, funny, and intelligent man, you’ll never be happy if he has the maturity of a twenty year old.

There are more fish in the sea. Don’t be afraid if this man doesn’t want to commit to you. The New Jersey dating sea is full of eligible and commitment-minded men that we can introduce you to. Don’t waste your time on a man who doesn’t want to commit when you are obviously ready for something serious.

Contact our dating professionals here at South Jersey Matchmakers today to set up a complimentary matchmaking consultation and find out how we can help you find your ideal partner.

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